Ski Week

So its ski break here in Germany. The school calendar specifically says "Ski Break", so I guess that means, we have to go skiing! Now grant it, I did grow up in Alberta, Canada. Best skiing in the world! Then I lived 6 years in Utah...another great ski place. Do you think any of that helped me ski the mountains in Austria? NO!! The last times I skied was probably 15 years ago, and I was not that great back then either. In fact I probably have skied 10 times in my life, and that might be pushing it. I could get down the hill with some wide turns....or just go straight

down really fast and hope not to injure myself too badly for golf!

So when we get to Bad Kleinkirchheim in St. Oswald, Austria ( home of the world cup 2006 and 2007), I think no worries, its like riding a bike!

We send the kids off to ski school on the bunny hill, and Ben and I get our gear and head up to the gondola to take us up the mountain. As the gondola goes up and up I see the black runs a few blue, but really no green runs. This starts to make me nervous. So we reach the half way point of the mountain and the doors open up to our gondola but no one gets out! I tell Ben "we can get out here can't we?" but no one is getting out. No one in the ride in front or behind. So now we are heading up to the top! I get out on top of the mountain and think to myself, there has to

some easy trails here someplace. We go to the map and see that the first run is easy and then hard all the way down.

I start on the easy run and I cannot turn my skis! I am not going left or right! I am only able to snow plow! I yell out to Ben in front of me "I FORGOT HOW TO SKI!!" He is laughing until he sees me fall down. I get back up and start to freak out! Not a pretty site. I tell Ben I am not going to be able to make it down the hill! I barely made it down the green! So Ben tells me to snow plow down. Have you ever tried to snow plow down a icy steep hill? It does not work if you cannot turn left or right! And no one yelling "PIZZA!!!" at you is going to make it better. So Ben now says, "OK hold onto me from behind and we will snow plow down together." Now I am crying, and not the pretty tiny tears in the corner of your eyes cry with the glowing smile of, I can't believe you bought this for me cry,... but the bitter someone ran over my dog Skip cry!

So I try and give this a shot but after 5 seconds we are so on our butts! I tell him "this is not going to work!", he tells me to Trust Him! I tell him, this is not a matter of trust, its a matter of survival! So we go one more time. This time when we fall my knee is facing one way, my ski the other and I feel my knee stretching to its limit! I yell at him to get my leg...he gets the ski off my boot and I sit there again crying and swearing! Now most of you know I do not swear, but for this moment that great F word worked perfectly to get my ass in gear and tell Ben...that's it! I am sliding down! Ben thinks I am kidding, but I grab my skis in one hand and my polls in the other and make it down the hill on my butt. So at the end of that hill the next hill turns to be a black diamond run. Seriously!! Where are the easy in between hills, the escapes paths

for the idiots who go up to the top of the mountain and cannot get down? So I start to walk/slide/shuffle down the hill. Ben now has had enough. He tells me he is going down to get help. He tells me to stay where I am so that he can find me. He looks at me again and says "promise me you will not move", so I say yes I will sit!

30 minutes go by and all of a sudden a man comes up behind me and asks "so I hear you want to know where the closest bar is?" I told him I will go anywhere with him, just get me off this mountain! Ben asked Greg (a man in our group for the week who was a ski instructor for 15 years) to come and get me. So with Ben, Greg and Tony (Trisha's husband) surrounding me so that no other skier could crash into me, I slide down the hill until I make it to the green easy area to ski to the 1/2 way gondola. What a trip and a half! Bruises on top of bruises! So happy to get to the bottom of that stinking hill!! The next couple of days I go to the bunny hill with the kids and get my grove back. I tell Ben, if I had done this first I could have made it from the 1/2 way point at least!

This is why I golf people...little hills, carts, feet planted on the ground without movement!

Picture of Hill that I was waiting on..long way down!!

Parking Lot Closed!!

So Ben and I go out last night for V-day. We have a lovely evening and we enjoy the walk back from the restaurant to the parking garage to get our car. But to our surprise, the parking lot is closed when we get there at 9:30! We are parked in a large major parking lot...it cannot be closed! Now grant it, this is a parking lot for a shopping center. So I guess when the shopping center closes...so does the parking lot! Ben thinks this is stupid, why would they close it? He thinks..don't let people in after a certain time, but let them get there car to leave at whatever time!

So after we walk a block around the building...TWICE...to find some way to get back to our car, we finally go into REVE (a grocery store connected to the garage). Someone here has to know how to get our car. We ask a young man and he starts to tell us that we cannot get our car because the garage closes at 8:00 PM. This woman over hears us and tells us that this has happened to her before and that you have to call someone to open the garage. Everything is closed on Sundays here, so it is not like we could take a cab home and come back the next day. She tells us that it is 15 euro to get a guy to come out and unlock the door to let us in. (you have to love that we find Germans that speak English and have all the details that we need). So we walk back to the garage and call the number. The man says he will be there in 10 min. We stand by the electronic store and watch the Olympics to pass the time.

The man shows up and Ben wants to give him the 3rd degree for not having the garage open after 8 PM! I look at Ben and tell him to be nice, we are the stupid Americans that did not see the sign that says...Closes at 20:00! The man tells us it always closes at 20:00, 8 days a week! I guess there are 8 days here...

So the man opens the garage for us and gives us a flash light. We have to walk up 3 flights of...not stairs, but the circle things that the car goes on to get out of the building. Whatever it is called. It was very dark!

So we find way to our car and pay for our 3 hours to get our car out of the garage...and low and behold there is a sign that says...closes at 20:00. Not that we would have noticed since we tend not to read much in German.

So we pay our 15 euro give back the flash light and we are done for the night.

Lesson to all, check the closing times in the parking garages in Germany!!!

German Doctors are Blunt

So I go to my Neurologist today for my 4 week apt. Today's appointment we are going to find out why my right leg is always cold to the touch. So he sets me up in the ultrasound room. He tells me that he will have to do an ultrasound on the back of my legs and then high up in my pelvic region. He tells me that I will have to move my underwear around or take them off so that I do not get gel on them. Then he asks "is that alright"? I tell him yes, so then he sits down. So I guess this is the part where I get undressed in front of him. Thanks goodness I have already been naked in front of all those men in the spa, that getting undressed for this Doc was no big deal. I sit down and take off my boots, then my socks, then I stand up and take off my pants, all the while he is just sitting there. I think I will take the chance of getting gel on my underwear.

So he tells me to lay down on the table on my back. I grab the side of my underwear (I do not like the word panties) and he starts on one side. Then he grabs my underwear on the other side and lifts them high up himself. He then asks "do you like how direct Germans are"? I said yes, I like people telling me how it is, do not beat around the bush. He tells me, "well some Americans take that as being rude". He then says "if I think you are a fat ass I will tell you, you are a fat ass" (thankfully he already told me I was thin!).

I was laughing so hard. I can just see an American doctor telling a patient "well you have high cholesterol because you are a Fat Ass!"

Good old German Doctors!

Police at my house!

Ok you think speeding in America is bad. I just had three police officers come to my front door. The first thing I thought of was, "they were going to give me a ticket for not shoveling my side walk"...but I just did it an hour ago. (it is still snowing though)

Coco my dog greets them, the police are all smiles..thank goodness.

They ask me if Ben Foulk lives here. I say yes, then they show me a bunch of paperwork. They tell me he as been speeding and they show me the picture. I say, "oh no that is me". hmmm must not be a good picture if they think it is Ben right?

So they tell me I was going 23 over the speed limit..it was a 30 zone. I know, I know, why do I do this to myself. This happened 2 months ago and I saw the hidden van take my picture, so I know exactly when and where it happened. I was very late picking up my kids from school and going to fast...obviously! Something that I do not normally do (pick them up from school, not speed ).

My car is licensed to Ben but the picture was a female so that is why the police had to come to our address and see who was driving. It takes 3 Police officers to do this? So now I will get a letter to pay a fine and points on my drivers license. I swear my license will be taken away from me in under a year! At least my first encounter with the Police was a good one. They were smiling and spoke some English. Why did I give them my German license! I should have given them my CT!! What was I thinking!! I am thinking of this now! Writing this! Stupid, stupid!